The battle with Briggs

I'm a network/system administrator. Highly trained and experienced with analysis and troubleshooting. I can fix my own lawn mower. Yeah... sure I can.

My 5-year old Briggs & Stratton 4.75 HP Weedeater (actually Poulson Pro) brand mower.
A delight to fire up and race lightly over my grass up to two times per week.

It won't start now.
Two weeks ago, it wouldn't start. I put in new spark plug and it fired right up!

I've opened up the carbeurator and cleaned it. It's the membrane type (membrane looks good).
I've removed the spark plug and pull tested it for a pretty bright blue spark (and alarming tingle in my hand).
I've cleaned the air filter.
I changed the gas.
I even pulled the nut off of the flywheel and looked at the shear pin/key. Looks good.
I changed the magneto-coil (that's 50 bucks right there).

Still won't start. The most common problems for Briggs & Stratton small engines are carbeurator and shear pin. Repeat endlessly: carbeurator and shear pin. Check it out on the web.

Okay, Briggs. You win! I can do most repairs on a 6-cylinder small block, but I can't get a small engine to burn. So, I go to a local small engine repair shop.

Now these people are normally really helpful.
I walk in the repair shop door and find Mr. Helpful sitting at his computer.
He stares at me, I wave.
He asks what I want and keeps looking at his computer screen.
I say, somewhat dryly, "I've got a mower that needs repair." What was he expecting?

We stared a bit more.

With a sigh, Mr. Helpful dragged himself away from an incredibly fascinating web page and asked what was wrong with my mower.
I detailed issues of spark, air, fuel and timing. I didn't get far before he said "Your carbeurator is shot".
I said "How is it shot?" to which he replied "It's shot".
"What makes it shot?", the reply "It's plastic, it's shot".
I hopped off of this mindless merry-go-round and proceeded to negotiate.

"How much?", he answered "For what?"
You see what I was dealing with, people. Sigh.

It finally boiled down to about $70 for parts and labor or I could buy his new mower for $399. Yay.
I went to Wal-Mart and bought their new mower for $133